Looking out for me

James has to go see his psychiatrist again. He's there right now, actually. And then he's coming back into school but I don't know exactly when. And I have an extra free period since my Maths teacher is out sick and I don't have a sub, so I have plenty of time to think now. I guess in one way I'm happy, because it means he's getting the attention he needs, but it scares me. A lot, really. But it's a good thing in the end.
It's just like what I said before, I'm scared mostly because I can't guess how this is going to turn out. It would be better even if I knew the worst was going to happen, because at least I could try to prepare myself for it a bit. But right now I just have to hope for the best, and go through every day blind to what might happen later on.
I told a couple more people that I was scared. They don't exactly know everything, but they know I'm a little freaked out right now and they know it's to do with James. Dani said I should try to be happy and just think how it was going to turn out for the best, but I don't know. She doesn't know all the stuff... well. Brittany tried to make me laugh by pinching my cheeks, which I HATE, but it's nice to know people care... That's what'll keep me going. I mean, if the worst did happen, I don't know what I'd do, but I have people to support me who at least try to understand until (if) it does. I don't think it will. I think it's good that James has people looking out for him, too, and that will make the difference. But it's good that people are looking out for me, too, till we sort all this crap out. I just hope that they will all understand that this is changing me, and that they will let me figure out who I'm going to be afterwards.
Spring cleaning goes faster if there's someone to help you with the clearing out stages, but if they try to put your room back together you're going to have to start over.